A letter to my dad

dad n me

If you knew my dad you would know he’s funny, patient, generous, and always says it how he sees it.  What you might not know about it him is that he is extremely intuitive, he’s a beautiful poet, and an empath.

When I try and trace back where my interest in all things spiritual/universal/woo woo began, I always draw on memories of my dad telling me that if I want something bad enough, it will come to be.  He taught me that being grateful for what you already have is a huge part of getting what you want.  After getting my licence to drive, my dad let me drive his car often but I really wanted my own wheels.  I would complain to him that it would take forever to save up with my minimum wage part-time job and would constantly compare myself to the other kids at school rolling up in their shiny cars their parents paid for.  He offered me two things: what money I saved he would double it and a lesson in gratitude.  He pointed out that I didn’t show appreciation for the car I was already driving, even though it wasn’t mine.  I would leave my garbage in it, I wouldn’t clean it and take care of it like I would’ve if it was my own.  That truth hurt but I still remember those words to this day and it has served me SO MANY TIMES! I did get my car.  I saved $500 much quicker than I ever imagined and my dad kept his promise and matched it with another $500.  He found me a cute little Dodge Shadow and gave it a new paint job at the shop he worked at. My dream came true!

I think back to the time he offered a book for me to read, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy.  I’m pretty sure I was only 12 or 13 years old at the time but I did read it and was blown away by the possibilities.  My mind completely opened up to a new way of thinking.  I kept this quiet for years because I was still trying to fit in and I knew if I even mentioned the idea to my friends they would call me crazy.  I’m still struggling with owning my beliefs and sharing with those who I think might judge me.

My dad would keep unscratched tickets on the fridge for weeks saying that he’s just waiting for it to change into a winner.  I would always laugh at his weird ways and roll my eyes in disbelief but there was always a twinge of hope for him to prove this manifesting stuff was real.

As I’m writing this and thinking back to all of his theories on life, his weird ways, and strange beliefs, I’m starting to see a pattern in me.  I’m now the weird and strange mom that my kids roll their eyes at and laugh about.  I point out examples of how perception, mindset, and the universe works while they try and argue back or simply change the subject.  I often think I’m wasting my breath but I’m starting to realize that it will never be a waste.  I’m planting seeds.  I’m giving them another option so when life throws them a curveball, they can have a head start and, if they choose, can dig deep and realize they have the power to create a life of their dreams.  At the end of my life, I will be satisfied in knowing I tried and I didn’t hold back the tools and beliefs that have offered me so many amazing opportunities and so much relief and hope during life’s ups and downs.

Dear Dad, 

Thank you for being weird and being an out-of-the box thinker.  Thank you for being a perfect example of how shifting perspective can change your entire life.  I only know a small amount of the many hardships you’ve faced in life.  You have a beautiful way of highlighting the best out of every situation.  Thank you for making me laugh when I need it and for the deep meaningful chats.  Thank you for reaching out exactly when I need to hear from you and for not reaching out when I need to push through and figure it out for myself.  Thank you for your spidey-senses when I’m wondering if my worries are real or if it’s my anxiety taking over. You’re someone I can lean on and someone who will tell me when my shit stinks.  I don’t always like it, but I do need it.  You are an amazing dad and grandfather. Swearing and all, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Love you 

Girlie

 

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