4 steps to get what you want

It’s funny how often we get in our own way of our wants and dreams. Fear can creep in and that inner self critic whispers sweet nothings until we give in to its charm. I find myself in a battle with my inner self critic most often when I’m trying to level up in life and step out of my comfort zone. Like the time I decided to volunteer for my son’s class events or that time I decided to travel alone across the country.

I like to tap in to my intuition or my inner guidance when I feel stuck in fear or when I feel like I need some direction. I think of this inner guidance as an all knowing version of myself that is ready and waiting to provide subtle or not-so-subtle synchronicities along my life path. The important part is finding ways to listen or pay attention to those clues.

Here’s how you can follow this practice:

Set an intention, do something that lights you up, listen to your intuition, take action.

Step 1: Set an intention for what you want. It doesn’t have to be huge, just declare what you want. Write it down, say it out loud, or hold the vision in your mind.

Step 2: Do something that lights you up.  Take some time to for you to nourish your mind, body, soul or all three!

Step 3: Listen to your intuition. Listen from your heart by focusing on your breath and bringing your attention to your heart. At first this can seem tricky. Your mind might try and take over and look for clues and signs or over-analyze your thoughts. Try and release the need to know and just observe. Usually the first thought that comes to mind is your answer. It does not have to make sense in the moment.

Step 4: Take action. This is the big one. Once you receive your guidance, take action. It could be to make that call, say yes to that opportunity, take that course. It might not even seem to align with your initial intention but it just might the first step to receiving what you want!

Here’s an example:

Since I started the practice of reiki, I have been wanting more opportunities to work with people because I feel so amazing after each and every session. I found something I am aligned with. Something that truly lights me up! My intention for this year was to increase the number of clients so I can do more of what I love and help more people.

Before trying to figure out a plan to do this, I grabbed a soul sister, some tea, and oracle cards and drove to the beach to catch the sunset. Sunsets, oracle cards, and good company are all things that bring me pleasure.

Not long after I returned from this hour of pleasure, I looked at my calendar and had the urge to reach out to a specific reiki client to book her next session. This is something I never do. I question whether I’m being too pushy or sounding desperate. With a few deep breaths I did it in spite of my inner self critic whispers. I took action and reached out to this client with a few dates and released the outcome to the universe.

After a few hours I received a message back. She said yes and thanked me for thinking of her. The real magic is when she called back asking if she could invite a friend. A new client!

My first new reiki client of the year was booked and my intention was fulfilled.

Where in your life can you step out of your own way and take bold action? The magic is waiting on the other side.

P.S. Want to learn the process I used to manifest things like money, new relationships, jobs, and a new car? click here to sign up for instant access to my FREE manifesting funshop


The healthiest way to eat

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I believe in biodiversity, never in a one size fits all approach to dieting and healthy living.

Once you learn how to listen to your body and recognizing how it reacts to certain foods,  you will feel so empowered when choosing what to fuel it with to feel your best.  Connecting with our bodies can feel foreign or uncomfortable after a lifetime of being immersed in a a society of body shaming and feeling like you’re never enough.

Eating anything with intention and a feeling of empowerment is much healthier than eating with a restrictive and punitive mindset, no matter what the food is.

Next time you have the option to eat something you might consider unhealthy or “bad” for your body, try saying YES to that food while switching your mindset and recognize your feelings when taking that first bite.  Tell yourself that you are choosing to eat this food because you love the taste, texture, smell and the enjoyment that comes with this bite.  Be WITH your food and really notice the taste, texture, smell and gratitude that comes with that first bite.  You might start to realize that you don’t feel the need to finish that entire bag of chips, or you might decide to put half of that slice of cake back in the fridge for another time.  With a restrictive and punitive mindset, we might think if we sit down to a “cheat meal” with the intention that we are being bad, then we might as well overindulge because it will be awhile before we allow this food into our diet and we’ve already failed so why not push it to the max. We might even can attack ourselves for cheating and sabotage any healthy eating efforts by just finishing off the day or weekend with a junk food binge. Even if we took just one bite and left with a feeling of guilt or shame, we are just adding another layer of stress to our mind.  We see the dangers of stress in our own lives and in the world we live in so what is the benefit of subjecting ourselves to extra stress?

The same reasons apply when we are choosing to eat healthy.  How often are your meals based on a restrictive mindset like only eating this food because it’s healthy and not because you enjoy it?  Eating with intention can be a beautiful approach when deciding to eat something nutritious.  Take a moment to understand why you are choosing to eat this food.  Notice the colours, the texture, the taste and how it makes you feel.  You might be surprised when tasting a food for the first time with intention.  The first time I experienced this was with a raw almond.  I took one almond, admired the texture, and tried to connect to how this almond came to be in my hand.  Where did it grow? How far did it travel? Who was involved? What was involved? How am I so lucky to have this abundance of almonds already shelled and ready for me to eat at my will?  I took a bite.  I admired the texture and the smoothness of the white flesh and noticed the sweet creamy texture as I chewed that bite.  Almonds are sweet!  Before that moment, almonds had a completely different taste to me.  I would always eat them mindlessly with the only reason being that they were good for my health.  I wasn’t enjoying the full experience of the almond and completely taking it for granted. With a little mindful eating, I now realize almonds are simply delicious and can experience whole food in an entirely new light.

Convenience and an abundance of choices has helped wash away many of our inner appreciation for simple and whole foods.  If you are reading this, then you are among those that live in a privileged society.  We have grocery stores stocked full of fresh produce year round and loads of packaged convenience foods available for cheap.  We are disconnected from our food on so many levels.  We rarely stop to think of the journey our food has taken before it ends up in our mouths and it is easily taken it for granted.

The human mind is so powerful! Mindful eating is available to you every single day.  Challenge yourself to eat mindfully with intention just for one meal.  Note how you feel and how the food tastes. Be grateful for every bite.  Try and connect with your food. Try not to judge your food choices and allow yourself to enjoy.  The more you practice mindful eating, the more you can start a deeper connection with your body.  You might start to recognize some foods your body doesn’t react well to.  You might start to understand your cravings and how your body reacts when you satisfy those cravings.  You might start to make a connection to what emotions trigger your cravings.  Each day is an opportunity to be kinder and more forgiving to ourselves.  Treat your body like you would treat your best friend because you are together until your last breath.

Love you!

Roxie

xoRox

 


How I manifested a new job

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My 30th birthday hit me across the face like a ton of bricks.  It came as a surprise because I don’t view aging like some do.  I embrace the grey hairs and don’t believe that getting older equates to getting physically weaker.  I always aspired to be fitter, stronger, happier and healthier as I aged.  I wasn’t worried about leaving my 20s and moving into my 30s.

Ha, was I wrong! This was the year my physical health started spiralling downhill.  After being tested for lupus and a few other diseases, I landed with a diagnoses of fibromyalgia, then endometriosis popped up, and through it all I was having heart palpitations with anxiety triggers creeping out from all corners of life.  I had more days of chronic pain than days of feeling okay and more days spent in fear than in love.

When I look back, I can say that I am grateful for all of those experiences.  I am grateful for the emotional turmoil that triggered the physical manifestations of chronic stress.  I have learned so much since then.  I feel stronger and healthier, I spend more days in love than in fear.  I believe it’ll just keep getting better as long as I stick to my game plan and embrace opportunities to grow.  Growth isn’t always comfy, it’s actually almost always scary and uncomfy for me, but the other side of a soul growth spurt is always fan-fuh-king-tastic!

After working through a few years of healing my mind and body, I started feeling an itch.  A strong itch to start crossing things off of my bucket list, an itch for adventure, an itch to find my purpose and actually live it!  My 30s brought me some challenges and some great opportunities. One of these opportunities was this great job I currently have now.  I want to share with you just how I believe this job came to be.

The job I didn’t know I wanted…

At around 33 years old I shifted from a focus on fixing me to a focus on sharing what I’ve learned with others.  The itch was stronger than ever at 33.  I’ve heard a few stories of people going through this phenomenon often referred to as the Jesus year.  I don’t subscribe to a particular religion but can 100% resonate with the feeling of the stalled-life crisis.  For me, there was a sense of urgency to move away from the daily grind towards a more purpose-filled life.

With this, I was wanting to move away from the job I had at the time.  I loved the people I worked with and I felt secure with a steady pay and great benefits.  I would be smart to hang on to this full-time job until retirement. My brain was telling me to stay but my heart was telling me to move on.  I had no idea what that was going to mean for me but I knew I had to try to figure it out. I started following my interests and took a course in integrative nutrition, I started learning about essential oils, and deep diving into spiritual books.

Since I was a child I was learning about how to manifest through my dad, books i’ve read, friends i’ve connected with, online personalities and by experimenting myself.  If I was to move away from the safety and security of my current job, I wanted to feel like I was moving towards something that would offer me a sense of safety and security but with more freedom.  It was tough for me to believe that I could attain something so quickly so I turned to a tool I had used in the past to manifest something big in my life…

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A letter to the universe

I like to use the term universe here because it seems to resonate with most.  You can insert whichever higher power you believe in (God, spirit, higher power, angels, etc.). I wrote a letter to the universe.  I was sure to keep it vague enough that I could believe in my request.  The key to manifesting your desires is with your feelings and beliefs.  If you doubt it and feel unworthy, it might not work out for you as quickly as you hope.

I decided to write down a typical weekday and what I would love to be doing with my time each day, right from the moment of waking until the moment my head hit the pillow before falling asleep.  My letter looked somewhat like this:

Dear universe,

I would love my typical day to look like this:

  • wake up and do morning routine
  • walk my dog
  • leisurely make & eat breakfast
  • get ready for the day 
  • bring kids to school
  • start work
  • take intentional work breaks
  • have time to make nutritious lunch and eat with intention
  • pick kids up from school
  • have time to make a nutritious dinner
  • spend quality time with my family
  • include self-love into my day (yoga/meditation/journaling)

I want my days to be filled with love and intention and I want to be living my purpose right now.  I am grateful for the opportunities that are now coming my way to help make this happen.

We often say we want something different but we rarely spell it out or even know what it is that we want.  Writing it down gives you something to work with, something to visualize, and something to feel in to.  As I wrote and read each point in my letter, I was feeling the feelings of waking up excited for the day, not stressing about how my kids will get to school, not rushing through the time I have with my family, the feeling of being in the kitchen preparing healthy meals, and the feeling of just living life with intention.

I felt a shift immediately and was able to find things in my current moments that I could see where I would be able to feel those feelings I was longing for.  Stay grateful for the moments you have now and your dreams will come faster. I was grateful for the opportunities I had up until that moment, for the forever friends I made at work, for the connections I had made with others that ended up indirectly helping me in ways that I can’t thank them enough for.  I was grateful that this job had helped build my confidence and personal power and put food on my table and kept the lights on.

The true magic happened when I saw a job posting twice.  It had to come through my inbox a second time before it clicked.  This was something I needed to pursue and see what happened if I applied.  Sure enough, after moving through the interview process, I got the job offer and accepted! Before accepting I exercised my personal power muscle and negotiated the salary.  This is something I have never done before but I knew I wanted to move into this new part of my life knowing I started off on a confident foot (even if it felt fake at the time).

I didn’t really make the connection until a few months into my new job.  This was the answer to my letter to the universe! I couldn’t think of a traditional job that would offer the flexibility that I was looking for so my mind thought I would need to be an entrepreneur before I could attain this.  I work remotely (mainly from home) and my boss is amazing! I am able to shift my hours around so I can do all of things I need and want to do.  I can drive my kids to and from school, cutting out daycare costs and increasing the time I get to spend with them.  I can use my breaks to catch up on housework, do a yoga session, or have a tea with my mom.  My days are more intentional now and I can now use my vacation days to actually take vacation!

If this idea is new to you but it peaks your interest, give it a try!  Start small if you have doubts but the important part of manifesting is to feel the feelings as if it has already come true.  I would love to hear what you were able to manifest so leave a comment or send me a message.

xoRox

 

 

 


A letter to my dad

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If you knew my dad you would know he’s funny, patient, generous, and always says it how he sees it.  What you might not know about it him is that he is extremely intuitive, he’s a beautiful poet, and an empath.

When I try and trace back where my interest in all things spiritual/universal/woo woo began, I always draw on memories of my dad telling me that if I want something bad enough, it will come to be.  He taught me that being grateful for what you already have is a huge part of getting what you want.  After getting my licence to drive, my dad let me drive his car often but I really wanted my own wheels.  I would complain to him that it would take forever to save up with my minimum wage part-time job and would constantly compare myself to the other kids at school rolling up in their shiny cars their parents paid for.  He offered me two things: what money I saved he would double it and a lesson in gratitude.  He pointed out that I didn’t show appreciation for the car I was already driving, even though it wasn’t mine.  I would leave my garbage in it, I wouldn’t clean it and take care of it like I would’ve if it was my own.  That truth hurt but I still remember those words to this day and it has served me SO MANY TIMES! I did get my car.  I saved $500 much quicker than I ever imagined and my dad kept his promise and matched it with another $500.  He found me a cute little Dodge Shadow and gave it a new paint job at the shop he worked at. My dream came true!

I think back to the time he offered a book for me to read, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy.  I’m pretty sure I was only 12 or 13 years old at the time but I did read it and was blown away by the possibilities.  My mind completely opened up to a new way of thinking.  I kept this quiet for years because I was still trying to fit in and I knew if I even mentioned the idea to my friends they would call me crazy.  I’m still struggling with owning my beliefs and sharing with those who I think might judge me.

My dad would keep unscratched tickets on the fridge for weeks saying that he’s just waiting for it to change into a winner.  I would always laugh at his weird ways and roll my eyes in disbelief but there was always a twinge of hope for him to prove this manifesting stuff was real.

As I’m writing this and thinking back to all of his theories on life, his weird ways, and strange beliefs, I’m starting to see a pattern in me.  I’m now the weird and strange mom that my kids roll their eyes at and laugh about.  I point out examples of how perception, mindset, and the universe works while they try and argue back or simply change the subject.  I often think I’m wasting my breath but I’m starting to realize that it will never be a waste.  I’m planting seeds.  I’m giving them another option so when life throws them a curveball, they can have a head start and, if they choose, can dig deep and realize they have the power to create a life of their dreams.  At the end of my life, I will be satisfied in knowing I tried and I didn’t hold back the tools and beliefs that have offered me so many amazing opportunities and so much relief and hope during life’s ups and downs.

Dear Dad, 

Thank you for being weird and being an out-of-the box thinker.  Thank you for being a perfect example of how shifting perspective can change your entire life.  I only know a small amount of the many hardships you’ve faced in life.  You have a beautiful way of highlighting the best out of every situation.  Thank you for making me laugh when I need it and for the deep meaningful chats.  Thank you for reaching out exactly when I need to hear from you and for not reaching out when I need to push through and figure it out for myself.  Thank you for your spidey-senses when I’m wondering if my worries are real or if it’s my anxiety taking over. You’re someone I can lean on and someone who will tell me when my shit stinks.  I don’t always like it, but I do need it.  You are an amazing dad and grandfather. Swearing and all, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Love you 

Girlie

 


What is in your spiritual toolkit?

27575080_215916682302606_8507186734168014848_nSpiritual toolkits are like food for you soul!

I have built up quite a large spiritual toolkit over the years.  Some tools I dig out daily, some only once or twice a year.  I’ve learned to rely on other people less and count on myself more.  Not saying that asking for help or support is wrong, but relying ONLY on others and external circumstances to make you feel a certain way only sets you up for disappointment.  Have you ever said to yourself, “when my spouse/boss/friend/kid acts this way or says that or does this, I will feel better”?  or “if I get that job/car/house/money, I will feel better”?.  If so, you’re not alone.  I’ve lived in this state for most of my life and built up a shit ton of anger, resentment, and judgment because of it.  It took me years to finally realize that I have more control over my circumstances than I once thought.

Why the f#&* are we waiting for to allow ourselves happiness?

If you are at the beginning of your journey to discovering your best self, I highly suggest you find at least one thing you can add to your spiritual toolkit.  As you move through this wild and wonderful journey, you will find more that resonate with you, you might ditch things that once worked for you and replace with new things that do! Also, reach out and find at least one person, online group, or social gathering that is at least one step ahead on their journey.  You will learn so much and will start to shift toward the direction you would like to go.  At first mine came in the form of books, online fb groups, and one friend who had been reading self help and spiritual books for years.

Your toolkit needs to light you up, support you, and offer some relief during times of crisis.  My current toolkit looks like this:

  • essential oils
  • gemstones
  • oracle/affirmation cards
  • podcasts
  • books/audiobooks (audiobooks are more realistic in my life right now)
  • self care (reiki, walks in nature, meditation, yoga, quiet time)
  • earthing/grounding
  • mindfulness and breath work
  • journaling/mind dumps
  • supportive facebook groups
  • chats with friends that leave me feeling full and energized

Notice how the majority of this toolkit includes things I can do myself.  I am responsible for how I want to feel moving through this life.  The above tools have helped me so much that I have been able to forgive every single person that has caused me pain.  The wounds from my past still affect me but do not have such a tight grip on me anymore. When someone triggers that old victim mindset, I am able to shift my perspective much quicker now and have actually seen huge shifts in the way certain people treat me.

Do you already have a stocked spiritual toolkit? Do you have a few of the items mentioned above and maybe didn’t realize you were already building a toolkit? Or are you looking to start your own toolkit? If so, I want to hear from you!  Leave a comment below or send me a private message.  We are in this together and can grow much quicker and move through this beautiful and sometimes f-ugly journey with more grace and understanding if we lift each up and support our collective goal.

xoRox